On the Edge

Hello there...
So I don't think anyone is actually subscribed to me.... But whatever, I'm gonna do this anyway.

I am SO screwed up. It's incredibly sad. I am so twisted up inside by everything! I can't seem to pick on side of things or the other and stick with it. My social skills, my religious views, my ethics, my personality, my finances (not much there, but still, there are issues), EVERYTHING!!!!

I was at the library today and I couldn't find these graphic novels (Rapunzel's Ravenge and Calamity Jack both by Shannon Hale). There was so much emotion rushing around inside of me, I couldn't think straight. There were more people there than usual, the computers weren't working, there was a lot more noise, two boys were in the way of the shelves, and an old man was staring at me. It was a lot to deal with. But that doesn't mean I should feel so tangled up inside. I tried to calm down and focus my thoughts and in the end I did a little, but it was still weird and uncomfortable and I felt so unbalanced.

What the heck is wrong with me?!?!?!?!?!? I don't understand!!! I feel like I'm being pulled in five different directions and I can't pick which way to go!! Is it some kind of disorder, is it just an age thing?? I can't... There's so much that I have to deal with.

Maybe I'm trying to deal with too much at one time. I need to focus on only 2-3 things. Or at least deal with it all one at a time. Or prioritize.

Prioritize sounds like the best thing.

I think I need a walk.