My walk last night.

I swung up and down, back forth. My bangs were blown in my eyes and then away from my face. I relished the wind rushing with me. I watched the tiny black bodies flapping in the air. They were beautiful. The sky was a twilight blue. Clouds were grey streaks against it. I made no effort to control my face; it made whatever expression my efforts to go higher were. I pushed my body forwards and let all my weight fall back as I propelled myself towards the twilight and the bats. My stomach was tight. I smiled.

It was dark as I walked back. The sky was a dark blue. A van pulled up in a driveway ahead of me. As I drew behind it I heard a car door oped. I turned my head to see who had gotten out. I couldn't see very well; all I caught were two large, fat forms before I turned away so they wouldn't catch me looking.

I heard a "hoo" to my right and swiveled my head around. Two giant birds flew towards me. I felt trepidation in the pit of my stomach for a moment, but they were above my head and quickly passed over me. Their wingspan was enormous, their head bulbous. I knew what they were before I'd even turned my head. I hadn't seen too many owls. I smiled as I heard them "hoo" in the distance.

Cicadas were making the air buzz with sound. I crossed a street. Movement caught my eyes. I looked up at the lump in the tree. I knew what it was. A third one seemed too good to be true. I knew it was watching my, waiting to see what I'd do. I clicked my tongue on the roof of my mouth as I passed under. It flapped away.

I listened to the sound of my sneakers on the pavement. I heard my jeans swish roughly against each other with each step. I loved the quiet the night brought. It felt perfect.

As I passed under a smaller tree, a smaller movement caught my right eye. A banana spider was making it's way down an invisible web that I hadn't seen twenty minutes before when I was going in the opposite direction. I kept watch over my shoulder as I continued moving forward.

As I came to the corner where I could turn left to go home or go straight ahead, I wondered what would happen if I went ahead. Would I find adventure? I turned. Home was calling.

Now, I wonder, should I have kept going.

The brown and tan and grey leaves on the ground whirled around before my eyes. I was spinning. The force of the air I was rushing though was heavy against my body. I leaned my back, pulling the twisted chains with me. The seemed to make me go faster; the air pressed against me even harder as I whirled through it. It was hard to keep my knees bent; I didn't want my legs to hit the poles that were much too close. I felt fear, but pushed it down. I let the thrill of rushing fast fill me up in it's place. The world was spinning around and around and around. The was rushing around and against me. It was beautiful. I laughed.

Be strong.

Life is full of disappointments. We have duties, we have obligations, we have responsibilities. Not everything is fair. Nothing is fair. We must push on. We must move past them. I must push past this. I must wait longer. I must. I will be strong. I will not cry; it doesn’t solve anything. I want to run. I can’t. I must stand. I must work. I must be patient. I will be strong. I will do this. Because I must. I will suck it up. I will not cry. Crying never fixed anything. Be strong. Stand firm. You can do this. I know you can. Don’t moan. Don’t scream for the unfairness of it all. It’s not. I know. Life is not fair. But you must be strong. You must understand and you must accept it. There are some things that just can’t be undone. There are some plans that can’t work out. This one, it won’t. I’m not going to say sorry. It will only make you feel pity for yourself. You must move on. There will be another opportunity. I know there were plans. Don’t cry. You’re better than that. Clench your jaw against it. Be who you know you must be. You know you’re strong, don’t be weak. Just accept it and move on. Don’t let anyone mess you up. Stay on your path. You must. Be strong. Tighten your fists. Raise your chin. Set your feet down. Be defiant. You will not be knocked down. You are impenetrable.